by Deranged
Two
sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a
bull so that the can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette
tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll
contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she
wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram
to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram
to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to
hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it
home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help
her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes
that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a
few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word
"comfortable" The operator shakes his head. "How is
she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup
truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her
he word,'comfortable?'" The brunette explains, "My sister's
blonde. The word's big. She'll read it slow."
("com-for-da-bul").
Two
priests were going to Hawaii on vacation. To improve their chances of having a
real vacation, they decided not to wear anything that would identify them as
clergy.
As soon as the plane landed, they headed for astore and bought some really
outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist"
garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying their drink, the sunshine and
the scenery when a drop dead, gorgeous, blonde in a tiny bikini came
walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare.
When she passed them,she smiled and said, "Good morning, Father,"
nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by. They
were both stunned. How in the world did she recognize them as priests?
The next day they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits
- outfits so loud you could hear them coming before you even saw them. Once
again, they settled down on the beach to enjoy the sunshine.
After a while, the same gorgeous blonde came walking toward them. Again, she
approached them and greeted them individually, said "Good morning
Father," and walk away.
One of the priests couldn't stand it.
"Just a minute young lady," he said. "Yes, we are priests, and
proud of it, but I have to know: how in the world did you know we are
priests?"
"Father, it's me, Sister Veronica."
