T-SHIRT SAYINGS

1) My husband and I divorced over religious
differences. He thought he was God and I didn't!

2) I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every
minute of it.

3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal
to kill them.

5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6) Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out
alive.

7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk
to me.

8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

10) Quoting one is plagiarism; Quoting many is
research.

11) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are
missing.

12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

13) NyQuil - The stuffy, Sneezy,
why-the-heck-is-the-room spinning-medicine.

15) God must love stupid people, he made so many.

16) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

17) It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to
get you.

18) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

19) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

20) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

21) MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.

22) Beer ~ The Reason some folks Get Up Each
Afternoon!

23) I Must Be a Proctologist Because I Work With
Buttheads!

24) Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam (seen on
Cape Cod)

26) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

27) Procrastinate Now

28) Rehab Is for Quitters

29) My Dog Can Lick Anyone

30) I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want
Fries With That?

31) Computer programmers don't byte, they nibble a
bit.

32) Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything
I've Been doing since 15

33) ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS, AND I MARRIED THEIR KING

34) West Virginia: One Million People and 15 last
names

35) FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.

36) MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT

37) A hangover is the wrath of grapes

38) A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash
advance

39) STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!

41) They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was
already taken

42) He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless
dead

44) POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN .... Cops have nothing to go on.

46) HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH

47) A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses
up a thousand times the memory.

48) The Meek shall inherit the earth, after we're
through with it.

49) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a
banana.

50) HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a
lifetime commitment for a pig.

51) WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20
years.

52) The trouble with life is there's no background
music.