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Submitted by Marilyn Schwing
How old is Grandpa?
(Stay with this -- the answer is at the end -- it will
blow you away).
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather
about current events. The grandson asked his
grandfather
what he thought about the shootings at schools, the
computer age, and just things in general.
The granddad replied, "Well, let me think a minute. I
was born, before television, penicillin, polio shots,
frozen food, Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees and the
pill. There was no radar, credit cards, laser beams or
ball-point pens. Man had not invented pantyhose, air
conditioners, dishwashers or clothes dryers, and the
clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air, and
man hadn't yet walked on the moon.
Your grandmother and I got married first-and then
lived
together. Every family had a father and a mother.
Until I was 25, I called every man older than I,
'Sir'-
and after I turned 25, I still called policemen and
every man with a title, 'Sir.' We were before gay-
rights, computer-dating, dual careers, daycare
centers,
and group therapy.
Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good
judgment, and common sense. We were taught to know the
difference between right and wrong and to stand up and
take responsibility for our actions. Serving your
country was a privilege; living in this country was a
bigger privilege. We thought fast food was what people
ate during Lent.
Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along
with your cousins. Draft dodgers were people who
closed
their front doors when the evening breeze started.
Time-
sharing meant time the family spent together in the
evenings and weekends, not purchasing condominiums.
We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric
typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. We
listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the
President's speeches on our radios. And I don't ever
remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to
Tommy Dorsey.
If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan' on it, it was
junk. The term 'making out' referred to how you did on
your school exam. Pizza Hut, McDonald's, and instant
coffee were unheard of.
We had 5 & 10 cent stores where you could actually buy
things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice cream cones, phone
calls,
rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel.
And
if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your
nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2
postcards.
You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, but who
could
afford one? Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a
gallon.
In my day, 'grass' was mowed, 'coke' was a cold
drink, 'pot' was something your mother cooked in,
and 'rock music' was your grandmother's lullaby.'Aids'
were helpers in the Principal's office, 'chip' meant a
piece of wood, hardware was found in a hardware store,
and 'software' wasn't even a word.
And we were the last generation to actually believe
that
a lady needed a husband to have a baby. No wonder
people call us "old and confused" and say there is a
generation gap. ...
...and how old do you think I am???.
This man would be only 58 years old!
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