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WHAT A DIFFERENCE 30 YEARS MAKE 

By Rob Haitmanek

1970: Long hair
2000: Longing for hair

1970: The perfect high
2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1970: KEG
2000: EKG

1970: Acid rock
2000: Acid reflux

1970: Moving to Calif. because it's cool
2000: Moving to Calif. because it's warm

1970: Growing pot
2000: Growing pot belly

1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1970: Seeds and stems
2000: Roughage

1970: Popping pills, Smoking Joints
2000: Popping Joints

1970: Killer weed
2000: Weed killer

1970: Hoping for a BMW
2000: Hoping for a BM

1970: The Grateful Dead
2000: Dr. Kevorkian

1970: Going to a new, hip joint
2000: Receiving a new hip joint

1970: Rolling Stones
2000: Kidney stones

1970: Being called into the principal's office
2000: Calling the principal's office

1970: Screw the system
2000: Upgrade the system

1970: Disco
2000: Costco

1970: Peace sign
2000: Mercedes logo

1970: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2000: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1970: Taking acid
2000: Taking antacid

1970: Passing the drivers test
2000: Passing the vision test

1970: Whatever
2000: Depends

 

Remember when by Ron Siccardi

Memories

Close your eyes.....And go back in time.... before the Internet or the MAC,
Dreamcast, Playstation or Nintendo 64...Way back........I'm talking about hide and seek at dusk...Hopscotch, butterscotch, doubledutch, jacks, kickball, dodgeball, Mother May I?, Red Rover and Hula Hoops Running through the sprinkler, the smell of the sun and licking salty lips....Wait......Watching Saturday Morning cartoons..(remember short commercials?) Fat Albert, Road Runner, Popeye and Olivre Oyl, The Three Stooges, Bugs Bunny, or staying up for Gunsmoke Way back when....  around the corner seemed far away, going downtown seemed like going somewhere and truth or dare didn't involve anything but embarrassment.
Or....Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, climbing trees, walking to
school no matter what the weather, running till you were out of breath,
laughing so hard that your stomach hurt, jumping on the bed, pillow fights,
How about...spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was a common cause of giggles, being tired from playing.... ,the worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team, war was a card game and water balloons were the ultimate weapon....Baseball cards clipped into the spokes with clothes-pegs  transformed any average bike into a high-end motorcycle (at least in our minds). Remember when...
when nobody owned a purebred dog, when a quarter was a decent allowance and another quarter felt like a miracle, when you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a  penny, when you automatically got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking..... When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box, when nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there. it was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb, it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents and no "Golden Arches"..... When any parent could discipline any kid, have them carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it. When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home. Basically, we were in fear for
our lives but it wasn't because of drive -by shootings, drugs,  gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much
bigger threat! Yeah, I remember that!
 Remember when............ The toughest decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo", mistakes
were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!" and a "Race issue" meant
arguing about who ran the fastest....money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly." the worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was a cold.
Or....having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a slingshot, nobody
was prettier than Mom, scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better,
taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin, ice cream was considered a basic food group, getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.
And when.... Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare", older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors. If you can remember most of these, then you have LIVED!!!! Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown up" life...
I DOUBLE DOG DARE YA!!!