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The Deranged Member
One
View of the Creation
On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field
with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk
to support the farmer. I will give you a lifespan of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty
years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty." And
God agreed.
On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door
of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a
lifespan of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll
give back the other ten." So God agreed (sigh).
On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do
monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."
The monkey said, "How boring! Monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think
so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God
agreed again.
On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play. Do nothing,
just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way man. Tell you what, I'll take my
twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten
monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay" said God. "You've got a deal."
So that is why for the first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do
nothing; for the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family;
for the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren; and
for the last ten years, we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.
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